The jist of it...

OK. so i am finding lately that some of my close friends have no idea what is going on with my "medical nonsense" and i am realizing it is my own fault. i often gloss over what is going on- i hate being one of those people that can only complain about things. or when one person says what is going on in their life, the next chimes in with a competing story about how theirs is worse. UGH. that drives me nuts.

and there is this secret... i love my body. even through all its crazy wacky antics, it is the only one i have and i adore it. so to sit and explain some of its less than perfect qualities, always seems like a betrayal.

but things are at a point now, where i cannot ignore what i call my imbalances. please take note: i am not sick. i do not consider myself sick. however, there are these things going on and at a point where disabled (as in, there are things i can literally physically not do) is less of a sometimes occurrence & for a couple of years now is actually more of a daily occurrence. i have to ask for help, and i hate it. i am the caretaker! i am the one that goes around taking care of everyone else & i suck at being taken care of. i also hate saying, "no" when you ask to hang out. cause i want to hang out! and as much as i appreciate my handicapped parking permit, i sneer at it when i know i cannot walk farther- it used to be this thing that i only pulled out on really bad days & that was only a few times a year. now i take it along with me when traveling & on every trip in a friend's car.

so why does karen have a handicapped parking permit?  she looks totally normal (well, except for that thing in her forehead & those silly tattoos.)

for the ease of conversation, this is what the doctors call it (at least at the moment, they change their minds a lot):
Ehlers Danlos Syndrome- Hypermobility Type
Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy
Fibromyalgia
Hyperadrenergic Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome

my acupuncturist says: chaotic qi

my ayurvedic practitioner says: vata imbalance (my nature is vata-pita, at the moment i am off the charts vata)

upcoming posts will explain all of this. and then periodically give you updates when something changes.

i'm keeping my full name & doc names out of this blog as i am changing it to public view- too many issues with friends trying to view it privately & unable to leave comments. if you use my first name in a comment that is fine, but keep in mind due to the nature of this blog i am staying anonymous.