Meet Alice...

ok. so last post i said it was pride keeping me from getting the walker with a seat. well, i got over it.

flying home after thanksgiving, the wheelchair assist guy at the airport didn't exactly assist. he got me down to baggage and then said he couldn't help because he had to go get someone else. so i was left to sit in a regular chair and was hit upside the head by reality. flying makes my HPOTS symptoms flare up in a super extreme way (the pressure changes). after that particular flight, my vision was blacking out just by turning my head. standing to get my bag, get my bag off the belt then drag it to my friend's car was not going to happen. luckily, it took about 40minutes for them to get our bags onto the belt and the friend picking me up was able to find a spot in the pick up area to "park." the vehicle has to stay running, and someone is supposed to stay with the car- lucky me my friends are good at ignoring authority. he snuck in and got my bag and i wobbled out to his car. the drive home i kept thinking, if i had planned to take a taxi home, i'd be stuck. of course there are other friends that of course would have come to the airport at 12:30am to get me, but still. reality. i cannot do this alone.

the next night some friends and i drove to a show in orlando. luckily my friends are friends with the person we were going to see. so i got a chair (an actual real chair with a back! not a bar stool!) on the side of the stage. but i sat there again wondering how this would have gone otherwise. sure, we would have figured it out. but was tired of worrying about how i was going to find a seat every time i go out. a seat is always found, but usually that means friends helping and running around for me to ensure i can sit. or like saturday night at czar, i end up sitting on a metal rail all night. uncomfortable, yes- but better than losing vision and having my heart rate skyrocket.

and the holidays are coming. which means i will at some point get stuck in a long line. even if i am not holiday shopping, a simple trip to target can mean long lines at checkout. last year at this time- i just started sitting down on the floor in line.

so i prepared for a conversation with my doctor. my regular primary care doc. she is great. very straight forward.  as soon as i brought it up she grabbed her prescription pad. i realized i was hoping for her to say no. i was really hoping she would say, no- you don't need it. i didn't want her to agree that it was a good idea. she mentioned that part of why she was ok with it was that she knew i wasn't going to use it all the time- only when needed. but still. big slap of reality- i was getting a walker with a seat.

So this is Alice...

(note, not the original photo posted... I deleted some photos off g+ and it deleted them off here... but I didn't have that old photo of Alice saved anywhere! This was her first trip out... to a Justin Townes Earle show)

She is named for Alice Walker, Pulitzer Prize winning author of The Color Purple. my friend Susie already used the name Walker, Texas Ranger on hers. Alice is tough- she was hit in the eye with a BB at age 8. i needed a name that was tough- something to remind me that the walker represents independence and not falling apart.

cause this really feels like admitting i am falling apart. i spent a little more time than i'd like to admit crying the past week. i still haven't found a way to make it funny yet. i didn't get to pick the color... she is swirly blue & black.

so you've met Alice. just wanted to give a heads up so if you run into me and she is out- it is ok. nothing new, just accepting what has been going on for a while.

also, she needs stickers. if you have any good ones please send them over.